A SMALL PLACE TO START
When Feeling Safe in Your Body Feels Impossible
If your body feels constantly on edge, guarded, overwhelmed, or difficult to settle, I don't want you to start by trying harder to feel safe.
Click to play
I don't want you to make feeling safe another assignment.
When your body already feels on edge, being told to “feel safe,” “calm your nervous system,” or “just relax” can sometimes create another thing to work at.
You might start checking:
Am I calmer yet?
Is my breathing better?
Is this working?
Why can't I relax?
Without realizing it, even trying to feel better can become more work.
So I'd like you to experiment with something smaller.
The goal isn't to feel safe.
The experiment is to notice what's here without
immediately needing it to change.
You don't have to convince yourself that everything is okay. You don't have to change your breathing. And you don't have to make the uncomfortable sensations disappear.
We're simply going to begin noticing differences.
Try this right now.
Give this 10–20 seconds. You don't need to turn it into another exercise you have to keep doing.
Notice what's supporting you.
Maybe it's the chair underneath you, your back against something, or your feet contacting the floor. Don't change anything. Just notice the contact.
Notice something around you.
Let your eyes find something ordinary — a window, a cup, a lamp, a tree. You don't need to concentrate on it. Simply notice that it's there.
Notice differences.
Is every part of you experiencing exactly the same thing? Maybe your jaw feels tight but your feet don't. Maybe your hands are gripping while your back feels supported.
Don't make anything change.
Nothing has to relax. Your breathing doesn't have to get deeper. And if everything still feels intense, that's information too.
Then go back to your day.
That's important. You don't need to sit and monitor yourself. Return to your coffee, your walk, your work, or whatever you were doing.
If this feels like too much
Stop the experiment. You don't get extra credit for staying with an experience that's becoming more overwhelming.
Look around, move, return to something familiar, or connect with someone you trust.
And if you're experiencing frequent or severe panic, significant distress, symptoms that are new or worsening, or you're concerned about your physical or emotional safety, please seek appropriate professional care.
This exercise isn't a diagnosis or treatment for panic and isn't a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care.
You don't need to practice feeling safe all day.
Occasionally, you might simply notice what's supporting you, notice something around you, and notice whether everything inside you is actually experiencing the exact same thing.
Maybe you notice a small difference.
Maybe you don't.
Neither means you've succeeded or failed.
Notice for a moment. Then go live your life.
Little and often.